Relations Begin With ‘How We Relate To Our Inner Self’

Relationships can be difficult sometimes. But who is it to blame for that? Is the other person ‘the bad guy’, or maybe the circumstances were not favourable?

First of all it is important to start with connecting to our inner self. It helps to reflect upon how we are positioning ourselves in relation to others. It is interesting to see that we develop different relationships with different people. Therefore, we choose who is our best friend, our enemy, our superior, our comrade etc

This is most likely to do with how we position ourselves in relation to other people. We usually target those around us as being equal, superior or inferior, depending on the circumstances. Please take a moment to have a look at the scheme below. As an exercise, reflect upon the hierarchy that we tend to establish in relation to other people.


By looking at the scheme above, in what kind of relationship you think you will feel the most comfortable? 9 out of 10, the answer will be: ‘in a relationship with someone who is equal to me’. If we would all behave and relate to others as equals, the world would be a much happier place. It’s just about ofering our respect to others.

But what happens in other situations (‘me->other person superior’ or ‘me -> other person inferior’) depends very much on our own previous experiences. However, by looking at someone as he/she is an inferior, means that we tend to close ourselves towards that person. Therefore, we lose the opportunity to learn something new or maybe discover an amazing personality.

On the other hand, we might look at the other person as she/he is superior to us. What happens then is we tend to lack in confidence and minimise our true potential.

At the end of the day, is our personal choice how we relate to others. The idea is, everything starts from our inner self.

“Discover your deep inner-self and from that place spread love in every direction.”
Amit Ray, Meditation: Insights and Inspirations